There are so many wonderful and heart-warming jobs that are part of being a mom. We are the snugglers, cuddlers, and kissers of boo boos big and small. However, there are quite a few mom jobs that are a bit “less than glamorous.” No one mentions these “jobs” at any baby shower you will go to and women only whisper about them quietly behind their hands at the pool. Well, I’m here to break the silence and drag into the light of day, for all the world to see, the (not so) glamorous jobs of being a mom. Don’t worry, you can thank me later (I like my Starbucks-tall, NF, Mocha with whip cream).
Top 4 Mom Jobs
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Fun Killer-
This job comes to mothers as a result of our extraordinary gift of sight. We see the stitches, broken bones, and tears looming just off in the distance in the future. We know, that when all the fun is over we are the ones left with cleaning up the mess. We scrape spaghetti off the ceiling and goo off the walls. We spend hours in the ER and administer band aids and Neosporin for days. So yep, we kill fun faster than Gibbs wielding a sniper rifle at a terrorist.
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Toy Welder-
Get out the glue, tape, duct tape, Girilla glue- you name it, we’ve used it. I’ve glued Elsa’s head back on more times than I can count. Wheels are rigged back on trucks and cups are precariously held together with Elmer’s for one more tea party. If it has been chipped, ripped, or squashed, we get out of welder of choice and our surgical instruments and get to work.
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Teacher of All Things Gross-
Of course we get to teach the fun things like letters, colors, and shapes. However, we are also charged with the task of teaching our children how to clean all of the nastiness that comes out of the human body. Every mom has been nailed with a blob of snot while trying unsuccessfully to show their tiny human how to blow their own nose. And what about wiping those tiny behinds? That’s another mom-teacher job. Someone has to show them how to get those behinds clean. If not, we end up cleaning them anyway when those streaked undies show up in the laundry. Ewww.
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Puke Catcher-
Do you wanna save your brand spanking new couch? How about that spotless carpet? Then yep, you have likely caught puke in the palm of your hands. You hear the sound (you know the one that makes you think, ugh) and make a slow motion, super-human leap across the room with arms fully extended silently shrieking, “Nooooooo!” to cradle the stomach contents of your tiny human. Wishing with all your might to spare your innocent and costly investments.
I think I’ve done my good deed for the day. Next time you are getting out the glue or in the bathroom giving your latest dissertation on proper wiping, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’m off to have my reward now for saving humankind.
~Leanne
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Oh. This is too close to the truth. Far too close. My husband calls me ‘Fun Voider’.
And I have lost count of how many times I have just binned something covered in puke. For a fashion writer, it’s awful.
Fabulous post! And so so true!
Love it!
My non fun mum job right now will be to wake a sleeping baby so I can get a 3 year old from school. Sorry baby. Great post, so true x
OH what a fun list! I also have the not so glamorous job of cleaning out all closets, drawers and toy shelves. Granted it’s more fun than catching puke or showing my guys how to wipe their bums but it’s definitely a job I never anticipated as a mom.
Haha I am cracking up. Puke catcher… It’s so true. I can’t count on one hand how many times that has been my job. Thanks for linking up with us at Family Joy Blog Link Up Party this week.
Brilliant post, and so true! Gluing Elsa’s head on really made me smile! Also, never in my life did I ever think I would put my hand out to catch sick…then I had children!
#BloggerClubUK
The puke dive really made me laugh I can picture it happening!
Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂
Debbie
Haha I am defo the fun killer in our house! Daddy is the play master and I am the one who has to call time for boring things like bed! H x
Ha ha – all so true, have caught puke on more than one occasion and each time am always shocked to see it in my hands lol. Think you must have to be a mummy to find a post like this funny!
This a lovely post. Any mummy can relate to this post, lol.. Daddy is definitely the play master here too.
Ha this is brilliant. I love the toy welding part. I was busy sticking something back together yesterday lol x
This made me smile. It is so true.
These are all necessary additions to the CV. Unrecognised humanitarian work. You did forget “Only parent after 2am even if Daddy is awake already” – it’s always Mammy who is needed. Brilliant.
LOL! These are all funny and true. I’d love to see you share your wisdom at a new mom’s baby shower. 🙂
#happynow
Yes, yes, yes, and yes! I’ve been labeled the ‘meanest mom ever’ so many times for not letting the kids crack their skulls on any number of dangerous objects. And as for the last one…I’m grateful that at least half of our house has wood floors. Gotta love the ability to clean up easily. Thanks so much for sharing at the #happynowlinkup!
So true! Motherhood the biggest fun killer since forever 🙂 Thanks for sharing this at the Happy Now Link Up!
Great post and so true! Lol, puke catcher, but yep I’ve been there. Not catching in my hands but many times on the from of my shirt while cuddling a sick little one.
Oh this made me laugh so much Leanne, thank you. Been there, done that and I’m still trying to get the puke out of the t-shirt.
LOL! Truth!!! Such an un glam life we live, but the priceless moments outweigh the puke. Love this.